Food for thought: The grumpy old man approach to consultancy

I am not given to paranoia, but I can't help sensing some significance in that, at Christmas I was given several books based on the "Grumpy Old Man" genre.

For those of you outside the UK - or for those unfamiliar with this - "Grumpy Old Men" is a series of TV programmes in which minor male celebrities inveighed against irritations of modern society. Subjects have varied from airport delays, graffiti, help lines - which are of no help at all; I imagine you're getting the drift. Perhaps you're even asking if you can join this group!

You'll be relieved to know that membership is not restricted by age or, indeed, sex. But my aim is not to recruit to this protest group but to wonder if this could represent a rich new variety of consultancy.

We need - as ever - to start with client needs. Is there pent up corporate grumpiness waiting for consultant relief? Indeed, are consultants the cause of some of this grumpiness? (One sensitive consultancy I know has resolved to avoid all consultant jargon this year, on the grounds that it irritates their clients). Some promising new services might emerge:

• corporate recovery - we restore everything to what it was like before people started mucking about with it
• customer relationship management - setting staffing levels so that we don't waste customers' time whilst they queue in a call waiting system when they call us
• downsizing - what happens to a chief executive's ego when he has to visit each family to explain why their breadwinner has been made redundant

I'm sorry; I got a bit carried away there. But while we're on the topic, let me tell you the problems we consultants have with clients.

Or better still, you tell me - e-mail a reply to calvert.markham@elevationlearning.co.uk - and we'll publish a digest in a few weeks' time.

I'm enjoying my Christmas presents.

Calvert Markham