Humour

This woman is 51.

She is a TV "health guru" advocating a holistic approach to nutrition and  ill health, promoting exercise, a pescetarian diet high in organic fruits and  vegetables. She recommends detox diets colonic irrigation and  supplements, also making statements that yeast is harmful, that the colour of  food is nutritionally significant, and about the utility of lingual and faecal  examination.

This woman is 50.

She is a TV cook, who eats nothing but meat, butter and deserts.  

So forget "join a gym and eat more celery". This Christmas, it's food  and booze all the way. And the only exercise you need is dancing.